Flying squirel: *Fly's over Billburtfunnice's head*
Billburtfunnice: De'goobalashall! *Slits wrists with teeth*

Teacher: Come over here. Hurry! 5, 4, 3, 1....
Student: *trips**cracks head open*
Other Students: Murderer!

Robert: You got gum in your pubic hair?
Stewert: Yeah...
Robert: How?
Stewert: Well, I was chewing gum in the shower, and I got to thinking... Nevermind, you don't want to know.
Robert: *walks away*

Man: What did you have for breakfast
Leather-clad woman: Cherry Pie
Man: With whipped cream?
Leather-clad woman: Yes.